CHS student famous on tumblr: ‘Almost cool in a way’

READ ON FOR A NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN ORIGINAL TEXT POST BY BLOGGER PARTYBARACKISINTHEHOUSETONIGHT

By HANNAH WALLACH

“One day I’m gonna end up running for president or something, and someone’s gonna bring up my blog, and I’ll just be exiled from the country,” said junior Kiley Timmons of Middletown who has over 50,000 followers on tumblr.

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PHOTO BY HANNAH WALLACH
On how she comes up with her text posts: sometimes they just come to her, and sometimes other bloggers’ text posts act as inspiration.
“I tend to be embarrassed about a lot of my posts, like even if I like them at the time of writing them, like, ‘Oh yeah, that was so clever,’ usually by the time they have 1,000 notes I really regret it.”
Kiley said she is most proud of her blog when people send her messages saying she’s made their day or made them smile.

Kiley’s posts are not treasonist nor could they warrant exile. Instead, she jokes often about President Barack Obama, which she said is ironic because she is a liberal who “agree[s] with a lot of the things he says.”

Kiley’s blog, which features her original jokes and humorous one-liners, has nearly 4,300 pages. Although she currently runs a “text post blog,” when Kiley joined tumblr three summers ago she also posted about bands and “weird, random things that didn’t really make sense.”

Kiley estimates that she has about 25,000 original text posts on her blog.

Before I go on, you have to understand that Kiley is sarcastic and ironic, and her posts exist primarily to entertain. This may help: Kiley and I sit together at lunch, and she often pronounces spoon as “spawn” because “spoon” is boring and she needs to “spice things up.”

Keep this in mind when I say that one of Kiley’s most popular posts in the past month features another theme she frequently uses… Daddy issues.

it’s weird how british people say “lift” instead of “elevator” and how my dad says “you are a disappointment” instead of “i love you,” she wrote for one post which garnered over 100,000 notes.

“I make jokes about how my dad doesn’t love me or how he leaves me, which is a case where people need to not be offended by things … people tend to like those posts,” said Kiley. “I guess it’s sort of like a surprise ending … It gets really serious all of a sudden.”

Many of Kiley’s posts need to be read in order to be understood, especially when she uses internet humor such as excessive punctuation or asterisks to distinguish narration.

Kiley’s most famous posts have over 300,000 notes. She said it’s “weird to think about” so many people seeing her posts, but it’s “almost cool in a way.”

“If I ever do have something important to say, I’d be able to get it out to a lot of people … Like some kind of movement … And it makes me feel important and like I need to keep blogging.”

Kiley said her next goal is to hit 100,000 followers, which she expects to do in about a year since she gains about 1,000 followers a week.

Never-before-seen post by partybarackisinthehousetonight: bready or not here i crumb

Kiley’s favorite text post:

My personal favorite posts by Kiley:

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